2023 and Me: Couple Goals for a New Year

I gave up New Year’s resolutions a long time ago. After a lifetime of making declarations rooted mostly in shame and unhealthy expectations of how my body should look, I’d had enough. It wasn’t just us girls passing the grocery store magazine racks at check out. Growing up, as he helped his mom load the produce and milk on to the belt, Curtis also took note of the omnipresent “New Year, New You” headlines. The ones that made ridiculous promises like “Drop 20 lbs in 2 weeks!” Curtis had only half-heartedly made resolutions in the past but when he did, they were similar to mine.  

There’s nothing wrong with prioritizing health and making changes accordingly. The main difference for us now is that those decisions are made with our doctor, privately, and with a focus on how we feel and function. 

Recently we snuck away for a night! Shhhh don’t tell the kids we’re having fun without them. Just kidding, they know exactly what we’re doing and are having the best time with their grandparents. While we had some fun and enjoyed an uninterrupted night’s sleep, we also got the chance to talk to each other about what we’d like to see for us in 2023. Call them hopes, intentions resolutions, etc … but 2023 is going to be the year of – 

being present

To us, this goal rests on a need to limit distractions which includes realistic time management. We’re guilty of over scheduling and overcommitting and not just on our social calendar.  We’re both innately drawn to the rush of multitasking, however we’re finally learning just how much of a slippery slope that is.  So being present, which to us starts at anticipating and mitigating distractions, is our number one priority for the year ahead. 

more date nights

We realize heading into 2023 how much we’ve neglected this part of our marriage and while we’ve had lots of fun adult outings, most of them have been with friends, or for school and community events, which is not the same as dedicated one-on-one time. So we’re setting the goal of every two weeks, making time for just the two of us to connect. 

playing to our strengths

Spoiler alert, we can’t do it all. 2023 is the year we swallow that pill and put more in place to allow us to focus our energy and time on the things we’re good at, naturally drawn to, or are essential to, while outsourcing tasks when we can. In case you’re curious about specifics, for now that means finally getting some help with laundry, as well as bigger home projects like landscaping and a garage clean out. Plus some meal prep assistance. We’ve got wheels in motion to make these changes and it’s already such a relief. 

the year we’re finally going to try our air fryer and Instapot 

We actually enjoy cooking together.  Trying out new recipes and playing with our favorite flavors is something we’ve liked to do since we were first married. Hopefully with some of the above changes, we can play more kitchen offense rather than defense. We recently remembered that we were gifted an air fryer and Instant Pot by my in-laws a full year ago and have yet to use either. It’s not a wonder we forgot about them – they’ve been buried under a mountain of broken holiday decor, toys and clothes that have been outgrown, and boxes of mystery cables. Ahem, see the above goal of outsourcing a bit of this massive undertaking.

of sleep (and rest)

We’re exhausted. But our friends would also vote us most likely to stay up until 3 AM on a Tuesday. We’re both naturally night owls, and often it’s out of necessity like when Curtis is burning the midnight oil working with colleagues across 3 other time zones. And I can get caught up doing any number of things from finishing content drafts, to handling emails and messages, or finally unpacking the suitcase that’s been marinating since we got back from a trip 3 weeks ago. But we know we need to go to sleep. We need it for our brains, our bodies, and our sanity. I used to be mindful of shutting things down at 11 PM, but we’re way past that these days. It probably seems unhinged for all my early-to-bed experts reading this, so if that’s you, brace yourself when I say we’re going to start with midnight as our bedtime goal and work from that, hopefully averaging earlier and earlier. 

Rest is entirely different. We know we need to turn off sometimes (literally and figuratively) and while I think while one could argue this is an individual goal, the joint realization and conversations Curtis and I are having about how much we’ve both been craving rest, make me feel more optimistic than ever that protecting more time is on the horizon for us in 2023.